When it comes to attracting a guy you like, I’m sure you’ve heard enough advice like “dress sexy” or “do your hair” for one lifetime.
But if you’re looking for some practical strategies that actually work, then you’ll love this post. Lets go:
1) Flirt…the right way
Sounds obvious, right? Some people are natural flirts who always seem to find it easy to make that instant connection with anyone, anywhere.
But most of us don’t always find it easy to flirt.
Have you ever been on a date, assuming that if the chemistry’s there for you, the flirting will come easily? And then you try and flirt and it just doesn’t work out?
You’re not alone, and the good news is that flirting is a skill that you can practice and get good at, just like anything else.
Nerves can make flirting difficult. And those nerves are more likely to kick in when you really like someone.
The killer here is that lack of flirting can come across as bad vibes. Your guy might be expecting a little playful flirting and when it doesn’t happen, he just assumes you’re not interested.
Don’t fall into the trap of expecting the man to do most of the flirting. Most guys love it when a girl gives as good as he does.
Think of flirting is a process of communication. It’s an opportunity for you to show him a little of who you are and open up your personality up to him in a way you don’t to other people.
By flirting, you’re giving him your full attention (and that’s hot).
Here are some tips for flirting:
1) Draw attention to your lips. Yep, this does actually work. Keep chapstick or lipgloss in your bag and get pouty.
2) If you’re in a group of people, say hi while looking at everyone but him. He’ll feel left out. Then include him in the conversation slightly later and it’ll make his day.
3) Do the bump-and-flatter. “Accidentally” run into him in a crowd or at a party and laugh and say: “Oh, sorry – I become a total klutz around cute people”. They’ll be immediately flattered and will want to get to know you.
4) Get eye contact with your crush. Instead of looking away like most people usually, look at him directly, smile and wink. It will show you’re incredibly confident and if he has any balls, he’ll then come talk to you.
5) Check out their clothes. Make a comment about them. This doesn’t usually happen to guys so you’ll appear interested and a conversation should ensue.
2) Trigger his hero instinct
If you want to get a guy to like you, then you need to trigger something deep inside him. Something he desperately needs.
What is it?
For a guy to really like you, he has to feel like your provider and protector. Someone that you genuinely admire.
In other words, he needs to feel like your hero.
I know it sounds kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
And I couldn’t agree more.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to be a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like a protector.
Men have a thirst for your admiration. They want to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives and provide for and protect her.
This is deeply rooted in male biology.
When it comes to a relationship, he needs to see himself as someone you genuinely want and need to have around. Not as a mere accessory, ‘best friend’, or ‘partner in crime’.
There’s actually a term for what I’m talking about here. It’s called the hero instinct.
Now, you can’t trigger his hero instinct just giving him admiration next time you see him. Men don’t like receiving participation awards for showing up. Trust me.
A man wants to feel like he has earned your love and respect.
How?
There are phrases you can say, texts you can send, and little requests you can use to trigger his hero instinct.
And because no man can resist a woman who makes him feel like a hero, it’s worth learning a few of these things.
When a man genuinely feels like your hero, he’ll become more loving, attentive, and interested in being in a committed relationship with you.
The hero instinct is a subconscious drive men have to gravitate toward people who make them feel like a hero. But it’s amplified in his romantic relationships.
3) Be yourself to get a guy to like you
There is no point in trying to catch your man by pretending to be someone you’re not.
Sure, you might get that date and, if you’re willing to keep up the pretense, even a relationship.
But acting like someone you’re not isn’t easy, and it’s also a complete waste of time. If the guy you want doesn’t want to date you as you actually are, you’re setting yourself and them up for disappointment.
It’s also pretty likely that your guy will start to notice that maybe you’re not being yourself.
When you’re constantly pretending, you tend not to be particularly relaxed, even if you think you are, and that shows.
Nervousness can be cute for a while, but it’s not sexy. You want to be giving off those super-hot, strong-woman vibes. If you’re trying to be someone else, that won’t be happening.
But while it’s easy to say that you want to be yourself, doing it can be hard. Think about the way young kids are – or try to remember what it was like to be one yourself.
Small kids haven’t been around long enough to try and spend all their time people-pleasing or living up to some preconceived idea of who they should be.
The attitude of the average three-year-old is ‘take me as I am’.
4) Hang out in the places they are
It’s an obvious one, but you’re not going to bag the man of your dreams if you’re not where they are.
But this doesn’t mean that you should pretend you’re into things that you’re not, just to get your guy.
Focus first on your own interests. What do you love doing? If you can meet the right guy doing something you both love, your shared interest will give you a great foundation for a relationship.
Some of your interests might seem solitary, but there’s often a way to make even solo interests social activities. So, if you run, join a running club.
Or perhaps you have some interests that are pretty social, but generally, involve going out with your existing friends.
That’s always fun, but it’s often hard to meet a guy when you’re busy with your friends. Try and expand your social circle beyond the people you usually go out with. Maybe there’s a Meetup group or similar that you could join.
5) Don’t stop seeing other people
In the early stages of dating it’s all too easy to forget that the person you’re into right now might not be the person you want in a month’s time.
That’s just the nature of a crush. You like them, you want to spend time with them, and your brain just seems to naturally filter out everyone else.
It’s a mistake to let this happen too quickly. Because however right the guy in front of you now might turn out to be, you’re moving too fast if you start thinking of him as a certain bet too early.
If things work out, you’ve got the rest of your life to commit. This time, right now, is the time to allow yourself to dream and experiment.
It’s time to remind yourself that you might be wrong about the amazing guy you’re dating.
Tomorrow might be the day they tell you they still live with their parents aged 30 and have no plans to move out.
And you’ll be kicking yourself for turning down that date with the fun, interesting guy with a great apartment your friend introduced you to last week.
There’s also the fact that if your guy knows, or suspects, that you’re still seeing others, he’ll have to focus his mind on whether he really wants you or not.
If he runs just because there might be a little competition, maybe he just wasn’t that into you at all and you’ve had a lucky escape.
