I’ve met so many couples whose main relationship complaint boils down to not feeling appreciated by their partner.
It’s so easy to take each other for granted and to get caught up in a pattern of not expressing your appreciation of each other. Next thing you know, the person you love so much feels unloved, unseen, and unappreciated.
So what can you do to prove your love and really show appreciation for everything your partner does?
The first step is to think about all the special things that your partner does for you (and even better, how about making a list!) — not only physical things like taking out the garbage or making your favorite dinner. How about the way that they are sensitive to your feelings? Or makes an effort to be a great parent? What made you fall in love in the first place?
It’s all the little (as well as the big) things that count. They help define our relationships, and remembering and mentioning those things can help prevent your partner from feeling taken for granted.
Once you have all these things in mind, it will be really easy for you to appreciate your partner and to show them how much everything they do for you means to you.
After all, there is no better way to prove you love someone than to show them that you see them and every little thing they do to make your life— and your life together — better.
1. Say ‘thank you’… a lot.
Make a point of always saying ‘thank you’ to each other, each and every time that your partner does something thoughtful for you. Not just the big things, but the seemingly little things, too.
Did you see him pick up the dirty sock that fell out of your kid’s hamper? Say it!
She grabbed your favorite snack on her way through the grocery store? Thank her!
2. Lay on the compliments.
Everyone likes to have positive reinforcement. Complimenting your partner on specific kindnesses will definitely let your partner know that you appreciate them. Don’t just thank her for organizing all the holiday gifts or birthday party invitations — compliment her on her ability to keep track of so much stuff and budget so well.
If your husband works super hard to provide for your family (even if you do, too!), a “thank you” is great. But it’s even better to compliment him on his commitment or how good he is at his job. This really helps him feel seen.
3. Do something that’s important to them.
Yes, it’s nice to surprise your wife with flowers for no particular occasion — if she loves flowers, this will make her feel very special and appreciated. But maybe she’s not that into flowers! Maybe she’d rather have you show up with cookies, or maybe … just maybe … she’d rather you take the time to do the dishes and let her just watch “Real Housewives” for once.
Lots of husbands make the mistake of assuming their wife would like a little gift, when in reality, that 10 minutes you spent buying the flowers could possibly be better spent taking a little burden off her shoulders. Wives tend to think that cleaning or cooking are what our husbands would really like us to do (probably because that’s what we would like someone to do for us?) but lots of guys have specific things they’d love that they’ve mentioned and we’ve ignored. For instance, has your husband ever said, “I love when we can just sit down together after dinner and watch Netflix”?
That’s a hint. He wants you to do that with him more.
And even though you may have things you’d rather do (or feel you must do), tell him you know he likes it and that you’d love to do that with him, too.
Yes, make your partner happy!
4. Try to stop being so annoying.
Make an effort to work on any habits that annoy each other so that your partner knows that you are mindful of their feelings.
For instance, if it upsets your husband when you look at your phone during dinner time, make an effort to turn your phone off and put it away. If your wife hates it when you leave tea bags on the dining room table, then stop doing that!
Changing these little things by making purposeful choices to be less annoying shows you don’t take your partner for granted, and is the ultimate show of appreciation.
5. Say “I love you” and say it for real.
The best way to prove your love? Say ‘I love you”… with feeling! This may seem like a simple thing to do, but couples often forget to (or struggle to) say these 3 words.
Hearing them said with meaning can be a game-changer. Look in your partner’s eyes, smile, flirt, and hold their gaze for an extra half a second.
